2-28-05

Another bad dream. There is a crazy guy next door. He lives in the woods. In my dream I was walking out to the bus stop in the dark. And I saw the lights on his truck. He ran over the fence with his truck and started running after me. I tried to run and fell I couldn’t move because I was so terrified. I ran towards the house screaming. I woke myself up screaming this muffled sleep scream. My cat Toppie was looking at me like I was a freak.

Today in 5^th hour I got my junior mints. I was really obnoxious because I haven’t talked for two days. I left class to go to the bathroom. Marshell came with me because I need a babysitter to be in the halls now. I was just skipping around singing These are a Few of My Favorite Things of on The Sound of Music. I was dancing with random guys. I was actually having a really good day. I’ve been doing really good the last few days. I haven’t cut myself in five days. I wanted to last night but I really tried and I stopped myself. I’m really fucking proud of myself.

I went to group tonight. Sexual Assault Support Group. There is this girl named Sarah the goes there. I really like her. She goes so Hudson Bay. I went shopping with her tonight. It was fun. She got almost nothing. She was so weird about trying on clothes in the same little room. I told her to “shut up and get in here.” She’s cute but she has only gone 22 days without drugs. And I have a really bad drug history, so I couldn’t really do anything with her. But she’s still cute.

Well that was my day. Goodnight.